Beginning of something new.

Northern Downpour.

Chapter 1: I Used to Know You so Well.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

I counted the steps to the bathroom door, stopping when I got to 24. Good thing it was Spencer‘s house, and not a random student‘s. My nerves were slowly returning back to normal, but the crowd still made me anxious. So many dancers and drinkers. There was beer everywhere, including spilled down my back. I cowered in the corner, more aware than people would have thought. I didn’t talk to anyone and didn’t try to mingle. I was there because Spencer thought it might be good for me to get out of the house. “Ryan, you’re cutting yourself off from the rest of the world. It’s not healthy.” He had said. It may not have been healthy, but it was safe and it made me feel better. I’d much rather be in my room alone, than here with hundreds of people that I knew nothing of. I didn’t go back down the stairs after I left the bathroom. I moved carefully towards Spencer’s room, 13 steps from the bathroom door. I wanted to go home, but since that was obviously not going to happen, I’d hide out in Spence’s room. The door was unlocked, which was a good sign. Hopefully that meant no one would be embarrassed by my walking in on them. I turned the doorknob and pushed it open. The familiar smell of Spencer’s cologne hit me in the face. It was nice, but there was something else. Someone else. I furrowed my eyebrows a little and stopped in the doorway. 

“Oh…” Someone whispered. He sounded surprised and almost apologetic. I didn’t recognize his voice. It wasn’t deep, but it wasn’t prepubescent either. It was smoothe and honey-like. I heard him stand up. He smelled nice. Kind of sweet with a hint of clean laundry, but there was also the beer smell that coated everyone. “Uhm…I’ll…” I could tell he was trying to stutter out an excuse or apology of some sort, but it just wasn’t working.

“Hi.” I whispered. He stopped moving. He wasn’t breathing. I didn’t like it when people stood still. I couldn’t tell where they were.

“Hi.” He finally breathed. I took a few steps forward. Six to the end of the bed. He stepped back and I knew I was too close. 

“I’m Ryan.” I held my hand out in the direction I thought was his, hoping I was right. I was. He took my hand and shook it tentively. 

“I’m Brendon.” He whispered. “And I should probably get out of here.” I had a feeling he was gesturing towards the door, or something. 

“Why are you in Spence’s room?” I asked. I let his hand go and turned my head sideways a little, perplexed.

“Oh, uhm…it was getting a little crazy down stairs and I’m not really a drinker. Didn’t know where else to go.”

I'm not gonna continue Vegas Skies. Sorry.

Vegas Skies.

The rain thudded rhythmically against the roof as I waited by the window. The dark was thick outside. I pressed my forehead against the glass and peered through the night. Nothing. It was almost two. He should’ve been there thirty minutes earlier. I got up and crossed the room, turning the light off as I went. I crawled under the cover and curled into a ball, knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I knew he was okay. I stared at the blackness in front of me as a silent tear fled out the corner of my eye. The cotton soaked it up as another one began it’s journey. My mind was anything but blank. I thought about what was happening. What I was losing. What he was leaving behind. The thoughts entered my brain and left through my eyes. I didn’t know how long it had been, but a little while later, I heard my window slide open. A slight smile spread across my lips and I wiped the tears away. The bed shifted under someone’s added weight. He didn’t say anything, he just reached over me and grabbed my hand. He squeezed it comfortingly, like an upset sibling might. “I have to leave soon.” He finally whispered. “At three.”
I nodded.
“I’ve got to get out of Vegas by sunrise.”
I nodded again and drew in a painful breath.
“Ryan?” My voice was barely audible. “Will you come back for me?”“Yes. Someday.” The words made my chest ache. Someday. But probably never. “Bren…” He began. “You know I can’t stay here. And my dad would never willingly let me go.” I didn’t say anything. Didn’t acknowledge that he had, either. I was angry, and my heart hurt. He didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about him. How could he? I was average. I was geeky. I wasn’t interesting. I didn’t party or drink. I was Mormon. He was everything that I wasn’t and everything I couldn’t ever be. He was tall and skinny and gorgeous. He was an introverted poet and I didn’t deserve a second of his time. Yet he gave me all of it. “Brendon?” I turned over on my side to face him. His big brown eyes sparkled behind crocodile tears. “I love you.”“I love you too, Ryan.” My heart raced. I wasn’t sure if this was the best friend ‘I Love You’ or the…other ‘I Love You.’ I didn’t know what he was getting at. “No, Bren. I mean…I LOVE you.” He scooted a little closer to me and before I knew what was happening, our lips crashed together. It was magnificent. I’d always imagined this. Having this. Having him. And now that I did - or at least I thought I did - it was nothing like I had expected. It was better.
I wrapped my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. As close as possible. His hands slid up my back and back down, sending shivers down my spine. My breathing increased the closer we got. “I-I have to go…” He breathed. I started to protest, but he rolled off the bed and headed towards the window. “Wait.” I gasped. I jumped up and stumbled over to him. I pulled him in for another quick but passionate kiss. “I love you too, Ryan.” He turned away and climbed out of the already open window. And just like that, as quickly as it had started, it was over. I watched him jog down the driveway and turn for the highway, the whole time wishing he’d turn around and climb back through my window.
My wish never came true. Watching him leave that night, I never imagined that I wouldn’t see him again for almost five years…


I'm not sure if I want to continue this into a full chapter fic, or leave it at this.
What do you think?

Spring Nicht.

The shrill ringing of my cell phone pulled me out of a deep slumber. I searched around in the dark for it and found it under the pillow. "H-hello?" I answered.
"Shit, Elle? You need to get over here like NOW."
"Bren? What's going on?" I was utterly confused.
"Ryan. He's threatening to jump and we can't talk him out of it. You have to get over here right fucking now."
"Shit, where are you?" I gasped. My head spun as I jumped out of bed and grabbed my shoes. I was wearing shorts and a tank top and it was the middle of winter. I searched for a jacket, but couldn't find one.
"We're at his apartment. He's on the roof."
"Okay, I'm on my way." I closed the phone and shoved it in the pocket of previously worn jeans that I'd managed to pull on. I ran out the door, not bothering to lock it behind me, and got in the car quicker than I ever had before. The tires squealed as I peeled out of the driveway. Ryan lived on the seventh floor of an eight story apartment complex. He was way too high up to be pulling this shit.
When I got there there were police cars all over the police and there was a square of pavement right below where Ryan stood, roped off in caution tape. Just in case. Brendon was shouting up at him that I was here. I could barely see him at the top of the building.
"You have to let her go up." Spencer pleaded with the cop.
"No. Absolutely not. It'll just push him over the edge." I didn't stop running. I hit the caution tape and pushed by the police and EMTs to the front of the building. The doors were already open. Tears streamed down my face as I raced up eight flights of stairs. I didn't stop once to catch my breath for fear of breaking down. A rush of cold air hit me as I pushed open the door to the roof.
"RYAN!" I screamed. He turned to look over his shoulder at me then shook his head.
"I told them not to call you, Elle. You don't need to see this." He yelled back.
"And you don't need to fucking do it, Ry!" He turned back around and looked down. He wasn't crying and didn't look in the slightest bit upset. "RYAN, NO. This won't solve anything." I walked closer to him and he stepped even closer to the edge.
"It'll solve everything. I can't fucking take it anymore."
"Ryan, you're 18. You're too young to end it all. You can get through this." He shook his head again. "Do it for me? For Brendon. He needs you, Ry. He loves you. So do I. And Spencer, and Jon, and Pete. So many people care more than you think." I was pleading.
"No! No, they don't!" He shouted back. I could hear the tears in his voice now. I took a step closer and he didn't seem to notice. I took another. And another. Until I was close enough to reach out and touch him. His arms and chest were bare and I could see the goosebumps rising on his skin.
"If you jump, I'll jump." I whispered. I saw him tense up and for a second I thought that was it. I thought I had lost my best friend.
And then he stepped back from the ledge and sank to the ground. I slid down beside him and wrapped my arms around him. He shivered under my touch and made me realize how cold I was. "I love you, Ry, no matter what."

New

So I can't remember any of my sign in information for the blog that I started to write stories on.
So I started a new one.

:]